- Monday Night Raw #1290, February 12, 2018!!!
THESE GUYS NEED AN AWARD!!!
We all bought it! We all bought it – HOOK LINE & SINKER!!!! We all bought it! Even our wrestling journalist experts bought it! Every damn one of us were made FOOLS OF!
REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like… ALL OF US! Yes, we fell for it! IT WAS A WORK! Yeah we know EVERYTHING… don’t we wrestling fans!
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RAW 1290! I hope it doesn’t bore me like last week! GIVE ME SOME JOKE!!!
WHOA!!!! John Cena haters – don’t hang up your keyboards of mass destruction just yet – dude just said he’s going to big BIG WrestleMania! and if he fails… then he doesn’t have a road to WrestleMania! Y’all better hope and pray Elias wins then eh?
Wait a second – The Miz believes he can win! Hey I’m all for The Miz winning the chamber! Imagine that! Talk about fantasy and reality!!!!!
Yo Miz, from one Mike to another Mike… you DO NOT wanna face Brock! You’re going to be a FATHER…remember??!!! And last time I checked, Brock doesn’t give a sh!t about your kids!
I like that idea! Make it happen Kurt! Miz Vs Cena – loser enters the chamber FIRST!!! In which case I’m backing Cena to win so that The Miz goes in first! See how fickle I am? I’m just like you fools! Actually no…. to quote Blade… ‘I’M SOMETHING ELSE!!!’
Only ONE MAN has survived the Avalanche AA or the Super AA or whatever that blasted move is called and that’s AJ Styles! No way is The Miz gonna survive surely?
BLAOW!!!! 1, 2 and….. 3! The Miz b!tch @$$ gotta jump in the chamber FIRST! He will SUFFER!!! And John Cena is for the children… look at him signing autographs for the kids with special needs. You wanna hate THAT MAN for that? You’re more retarded than anybody else!
WHOA! I wasn’t even paying attention and Revival win their match against The Balding Club? I was sitting here wishing happy birthday to people on FB and I heard the 1, 2, 3 with Balding clubs shoulders to the mat looking at lights! Hahahahaha B!TCHES!
Yes Alexa I’m impressed with Mickie James too – she’s a mother and a WWE Superstar and she looks great… that is… until I come across THIS WOMAN… no she’s not a wrestler… but she’s a mother of FIVE. After two or three kids your body cannot recover again and you look like one of those guests from Jeremy Kyle but when you look like this… GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!! (Edd don’t even attempt to research this one!!!)
Let’s just say she is a distant associate of mine as regards to my Journalistic Hip Hop career…moving on…
Goldberg eat your heart out! Asuka – 240-0!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT HER!!! Even the Undertaker is astonished!!! But let’s be real – you’re NOT gonna see Asuka at WrestleMania for 20+ years are you?
THAT IS TRUE! Had Asuka NOT relinquished the NXT Championship, god knows how much longer she would have been champion! 523 days… CM Who? GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!
“Huge fan of Sonya Deville, she will have a great future here on Monday Night Raw…”
Got that right Mr Greaves! She could GET IT!!!
Well so much for Sasha Vs Bayley at big BIG WrestleMania – we’re getting it now! (PAUSE)
BAYLEY WINS THE MATCH! Ok here’s the heel turn you know it alls have been waiting for!
SWITCH!!! Nia Jax attacks BOTH OF THEM!!! Ok go ahead, complain on the internet about how WWE dropped the ball again as you do!!!
TODAY, I WALK WITH ELIAS!!!!! There is a first time for everything! Why wish for the Doctor of Thuganomics to come back when Elias has got it covered!
“Don’t worry Miz, those songs were not for you, they were written for MARYSE!!!”
Pregnant women don’t do it for me personally but ELIAS WANTS TO PUT IT IN!!!
WAIT – I CHANGED MY MIND!!! I’M WALKING WITH BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! Have you seen the size of that guitar? He even broke that! And he can sing in tune too!
“Well Elias says he’s gonna win, but we all know that ain’t true,
You look at me boy when I’m singing, because I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!
You may not notice, you may not realise, when this song is over, you’re gonna GET THESE HANDS!”
PUT THIS ON iTUNES NOW!!!!!
Are you ready for Braun Strowman’s album to drop? If you don’t buy it you’re gonna get these hands!!! I’M DUN!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!! Strowman lick down Elias with the dutty big guitar! BLAOW!!! That’s it – now throw him off the stage! NO? Oh well!!!
Let me take this time to congratulate Ivory on her Hall Of Fame induction! Yeah I know what you’re thinking… Chyna gets dissed again! Hey – you praise the evil Triple Teef for making NXT/WWE better, but you run him down for this… you can’t have everything!
WHOA!!! Jason Jordan forced to miss big BIG WrestleMania! HOLY SMOKES!!! The question remains – what does this mean for Seth Rollins? I think everything has changed now, JUST LIKE THAT!
Tell em Kurt! The fans should be ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES! Cheering that Jason Jordan won’t be there? What sort of people are you?
Er what? Seth doesn’t want to be apart of Monday Night Raw? Welcome to the A Show Seth! I’ve been waiting for you!
Oh maybe not! He still wants to be Universal Champion! Er… how is this gonna work?
Makes sense! I hope Seth wins the Fatal 5 Way joint! But if he does, what about Finn Balor? Er… oh dear!
Sorry Apollo! Sorry Wyatt, Sorry Matt Hardy… the Chamber needs to be DON! But I gotta say I’m glad Apollo is up in that match…
OH SNAP!!! Seth and Balor did a ‘Undertaker & Kane to Austin’! You don’t get it? Er does this mean anything to you?