SMACK TALK CENTRE: WWE RAW 1000

Peace Smack Talk Centre. After all the hype, the promos, the anticipation, as you may have heard, In the eleventh hour I got denied the chance to watch Raw 1000 live at The Dog & Partridge due to unforseen circumstances. It was like the powers that be turned heel against me, like I could taste the WWE title and I got it with a sledgehammer, like JR was cussing like “Why?? Tell Me Why??” Like I was sitting next to Randy Orton on the bench, like the moment when you were a child and got denied the chance to see Jimmy Superfly Snuka (Shout out to Referee Tonya Stevens). Like Will Smith found out at the last-minute that he couldn’t join his family on the Oprah Winfrey Show (remember that Fresh Prince Of Bel Air episode?) Yes STC, I am not in the best of moods, which means the Infamous Informer is gonna take it out on your favourite superstars (this blog will get ugly…)

“See when the rain comes down, I know it’s falling for me, and only for me…and when the pain comes around, there’s nowhere else I rather would be, I know what I’ve done, Please forgive me…” (Jean Grae, My Story)

SOURCE: WWE.Com

What an opening to Raw 1000!!!! Here’s me thinking I did a good job with the 45 minute STC Raw 1000 promo, these guys did it in 3 and a half minutes!!!! Moments spanning all eras of the WWE, even though I would have taken out those puppet business of the PG era – I hated that sh!t! One thing worth noting, in this edit, they didn’t include CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb…which was funnily enough, edited out of the STC version simply because YouTube kept banning my sh!t…other than that great job fellas, very good piece of work! And We see a new Raw stage as well!!!! It was only right!!!

First victim to receive the Infamous cussing is Jerry The King Lawler… I sorry Jerry, you are a don and all that, but you stated that ‘ALL OF DX’ will be present at Raw 1000, now I saw Triple H and Shawn Michaels say that there was ‘something missing…next minute Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac come through on the DX Tank…reminciscent of when they attempted to invade WCW…but didn’t I remember two women up in that crew??? Namely Chyna and Tori???? So that means NOT ALL OF DX were reunited, that’s like saying the Whole Wu-Tang are on stage and only 3 members of the original 9 turn up…at the same time Jerry I understand, what with Chyna showing her pum-pum on video and I ain’t tryna see that sh!t…plus her bitterness with Stephanie as well. So Jerry, I’ll let you off this time…don’t let it happen again!

Next to feel my wrath: Chris Jericho: Maybe Dolph Ziggler has a point, in fact he DOES have a point, when it comes to the big events, you lose, and Raw 1000 come, in a 6-man tag team match w’happen? YOU LOSE AGAIN!!!! You let Sheamus kick you down, man I liked the Chris Jericho who used to cuss Stephanie every week, not this blubbering mess!!! Dolph Ziggler is gonna brukk up your clart at Summerslam, and he might do it wearing pink trunks as well…you said that after Raw 1000, you are gonna be the only person everyone be talking about, well I’m talking about you muthaf***a, and it ain’t the way you like either!!! You DYAM ARSE! Dude you wack, and you wack at singing…Fozzy don’t make any noise over here, and that’s the rock/metal crew telling me that! You make me sick…step back…

OH MY GOD LOOK AT CAMERON & NAOMI!!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!! And I’m from the UK!!!! In fact f**k that, ALLAH BLESS THE BLACK WOMAN!!!! Yo! Black Men Magazine/King Magazine is calling you women!!!! You look so fine I’m not even gonna talk about Wack Swagger, Dude Love or Broadus Clay!!!! LIFE IS GOOD!

Daniel Bryan, do you take AJ to be your lawfully wedded wife? “YES! YES! YES!” AJ, do you take Daniel Bryan to be your lawfully wedded husband? “NO! NO! NO!” Record skip- AJ is the new General Manager by Vincent Kennedy?????!!!! HOLY CRAP! WHO SAW THAT COMING!! Certainly not the Yes-Man!!! Hell yeah I’m loving this sh!t!!! Well we have complained that WWE has been predictable lately but AJ DEFINES UNPREDICTABLE!!! Talk about new era, it is the CRAZY CHICK ERA!!! I support this, LET’S GO!! As for Daniel Bryan, tissues and lubricants are available at all good pharmaceuticals…

…and it’s bad enough me cussing your clart Daniel Bryan, it’s bad enough AJ shutting you down at the altar, but to have the Most Electrifying Man in All of Entertainment cuss you as well??? Now we know Bryan’s parents: A hopeless lumberjack and a ummpa-lummpa! (Is that how you spell it??) As CM Punk tries to hold the laughs in, he claims he will still be the champion by the Royal Rumble when The Rock will fight for the WWE title….Once again, Team Bring It ALL THE WAY BABY!!! But The Rock did have a wedding gift for Daniel Bryan….. ROCK BOTTOM!!! ROCK BOTTOM!!!

Unfortunately I have a problem with Rock’s announcement: See I don’t know if the STC clocked this, but The Grant believes that The Rock will WIN at the Royal Rumble, only to have a rematch with John Cena, defend the title and LOSE at WrestleMania XXIX…Not liking that picture at all…nothing against John Cena, but I don’t fancy seeing a rematch between the two as it takes away the whole ‘Once In a Lifetime’ concept…

Big up the man call Bret Hart! I loved his role as the ring announcer, I loved how he bigged up Christian, and then announced The Miz like he was a f***!n nobody… record skip- The Miz is the new Intercontinental Champion???? DAMMIT!!!! Now we gonna see this @$$hole at Summerslam… Er word to Michael Cole, the same applies to you, tissues and lubricants are available at all good pharmaceuticals, you and Daniel Bryan can go shopping together!!!! Ah what a lovely couple. You both then can watch DVDs or magazines of AJ, The Miz, and Vickie Guerrero and have a ripping good time!!!!

“DAMN YOU LOOKING FYYYYYYYNE STEPHANIE!!!! YOU BEEN TAKING THEM VITAMINS GIRL??!!!” (Booker-T, Raw 2001)

After Paul Heyman tell Triple seh ‘No, Brock nah fight yuh pon Summerslam’, Triple calls Brock a coward…Heyman goes below the belt and starts talking of Triple’s kids…Stephanie comes out and brings da ruckus to Paul Heyman!!!! GWARN Stephanie…b!tch slapping muthaf***az!!! Brock comes out trying to rush Triple, but gets beaten to the punch and fails to apply the Kimura Lock pon Triple! WROOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!! Summerslam it’s going off RUDE BOI!!!!

Shout out to Howard Finkel!!!!! Hold up…how come I haven’t seen my baby Lillian Garcia yet??? A wha de rarse????!!!!

I told that Heath Slater not to come to Raw 1000…and what da bwoy do? Him wann challenge somebody inna de back to a No DQ match….Lita???? oh word???? So The one Man Dyam Arse gets confident now…but Lita tell him seh she got some ‘protection’…UH – OH!!!! Here comes the APA to deliver some attitude beatings! Slater try fe run garrne, but the LOD’s music hits…OOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHAT A RUSH!!! Here comes Animal, and all his bredrins! Sycho Sid! Vader! DDP! Bob Backlund! Rikishi! Doink The Clown! Sgt. Slaughter! Rowdy Roddy Piper! And yes I did say APA, which means that Ron Simmons has the mic and looking at this imbecile for about 10 minutes before he gives his thoughts……………………………………………………………………………………………………. “DAMN!!!!” That’s what you get for disrespecting the legends of this business…you stupid muthaf***a!!!! You ain’t a Legend Killer! I can’t even cuss Randall because he’s here sitting next to me in the ‘You missed out’ section…

Next to feel my wrath… The UNDERTAKER HATERS….see it would have been these six jabronies who came out cussing that it’s the 1000th show and they don’t get no shine, so they wanna beat up my hero Kane… but I feel you Undertaker hating muthaf***az are gonna get got here… Now the unwritten golden rule in wrestling is, that if you see both The Undertaker and Kane in the ring together, your common sense tells you to leave the muthaf***!n ring. Not these guys, they feel it is power in numbers, which is usually true, but we talking Undertaker & Kane here!!!! Now you Undertaker hating b!tches talking about – ‘Undertaker is gonna announce his retirement at Raw 1000’ First of all, Shut the f**k up. Next, SHUT THE F**K UP. And finally, SHUT THE F**K UP PUT A SOCK IN IT PA, BE QUIET!!! Damn that track by Nas on the Life Is Good album is in my head…”Some say hating is confused admiration…” (Nas, Stay, 2012)

What a waste of a cash in with that Money Inna De Bank briefcase…In the contest between CM Punk and John Cena, The Big Show tries to bait it up for Cena (Just like I predicted last week) by P.unching him T.hrough S.chool B.uses…CM Punk didn’t really want to win that way but he thought f**k it…I’m gonna cover this dude…but Cena must have toughened up, because he got up after Big Show’s P.T.S.B. Realising that Show’s move didn’t work, Big Show comes back and then deliberately disqualifies CM Punk…but watch the twist…as Big Show continues the assault CM Punk actually turns his back… Show’s all time nemesis, The Rock comes through to lay the smackdown on the 441lbs, 7ft2 piece of steaming monkey crap…but then, CM Punk turns evil against The Rock!!!!! Was this a surprise? Was this a shock? Well I can’t lie, I checked through the STC and I saw a debate whether it was or not so The Grant says this…it was AND it wasn’t. You see when CM Punk dropped the pipe bomb last year he was a HEEL cussing The Rock about jumping into main events. A LIE ME A TELL? Check back in the YouTube archives. Furthermore, look at The Rock/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk segment…The Rock took centre stage and basically out performed him lyrically. The look on CM Punk’s face told the story. A LIE ME A TELL? Once again, look back at it. Of course Punk could have challenged The Rock as a face at the Royal Rumble but once again I pin it down to one person…that selfish @$$ John Cena who WON’T TURN EVIL…it would be an even more shocking moment if Cena turned evil, and it shakes up the storylines. With this direction now, admittedly I don’t know where the WWE is going from here especially with AJ running the dance…and plus the man who brought the most viewers to Raw – Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn’t even in effect!!! But wait….I just thought, maybe CM Punk’s heel turn is a move by WWE to build the epic confrontation between him and Stone Cold Steve Austin himself for WrestleMania XXIX….Well STC, what do you think about that????? The Grant says this: WrestleMania XXIX – Rock Vs Cena II for the WWE Title, CM Punk Vs Austin – grudge match, and Brock Lesnar Vs Undertaker – 21-0….

I’M IN 2013 ALREADY!!!!! CATCH UP TO ME!

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER!!!! STC4LIFE…. BEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTCHHHH!

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NAS – LIFE IS GOOD

Are you one of those people on facebook and twitter that always update your status about how you’re stressed in life? Are you one of those people who claim you hate the so-called drama but you actually embrace it? Well this review may be for you so listen up…Try putting yourself in Nasir Jones’ shoes…are you always under pressure of matching the classic Illmatic LP? No. How much Child Benefit have you gotta pay a month? 55,000$? Didn’t think so. Let me put it another way: Are you apart of a struggling family in a third world country striving for food and water? Nas is trying to tell you that you are blessed, and Life Is Good. If you are a hip hop fan that likes to compare every Nas album to his first, stop reading this review now. As Nas said in Stillmatic, “It’s always going forward; never backward stupid here’s another classic…” On the flip side, this album Nas shows hints of that Illmatic vibe…

According to Nas, this album has ‘No Introduction’. This is as gripping and mind captivating as ‘The Genesis’, the intros he had in Stillmatic and Streets Disciple. Nas sums up his life story so far in about 4 minutes, and in the end, you will be either laughing at him or with him…and in our case, it would be the latter.

…and as if Nas heard the cries of fans telling him to make another Illmatic, Nas responds to the ‘trapped in the 90s n!**a$’ by kicking the album off with ‘Loco-Motive’, featuring one of the début album’s contributors, Large Professor. As beautifully constructed as this track is, it would have been nice that Large Professor actually spat a few bars and/or produced the track…but who am I to complain…I’m nodding my head aren’t I?

Nas then decides to tell ‘A Queens Story’. Nas goes on an all-out assault on the Salaam Remi produced, Run DMC sampled track with a flow reminiscent of Nasty Nas Pre’ 94. Then cleverly goes into a prelude of ‘Accidental Murderers’ that would feature Rick Ross… an epic No I.D. track that would have been even better if the track featured say Raekwon or Ghostface Killah, or even returning the favour by bringing in the producer’s recent collaborator, Common. But by featuring ‘Officer Ricky’ might be Nasir’s way of staying current, something which he clearly doesn’t have to do.

As his daughter Destiny hit her teenage years, Nas realises his own minor errors as a father…and encourages his brothers with ‘Daughters’ to strengthen their bonds, particularly those brothers that are single. It is also good to see that the author of the Untitled (N!**£r) album ditched the original recording of this track because of the unnecessary over use of the word. Time has flown since his ode to her on Streets Disciple (‘Me & You’).

If Nas has gotta take it back to that 90s flava, he felt that he had to take the ‘Queen of Hip Hop/Soul’ with him. Nas decides to ‘Reach Out’ to Mary J. Blige and revisits the tried and tested sample of Ike’s Mood by Issac Hayes. She sounds as great as ever now as she did in 1995 when she made ‘I Love You’ featuring Smif ‘N’ Wessun, which remains one of my favourite R&B tunes of all time.

Time to slow it down a bit with ‘World’s An Addiction’ featuring Anthony Hamilton. Nas begins to speak the unwritten commandments that we are ignorant to, while Salaam Remi does a bit of revisiting himself by sampling his own track ‘The World’…  “It;s better to dead a beef than let it breathe/Then we don’t succeed/Cause then you gotta murder dummies/Waste your time, they allergic to money…” before Nas gets emotionally charged in a the third verse not seen since One Mic but minus the initial whispering…

At first listen, this may sound slightly out-of-place with the tracks heard thus far in the album, but then it quickly grows on you and you understand its purpose. Nas and Swizz Beatz claim that they have the ‘Summer on Smash’. This is nothing more than a party hype track, and one that Tim Westwood would fully endorse on his radio show and would go as far as saying that it is ‘the best joint on the album’, maybe even push it for a single/video. But this is RePPiN4U and we all know that isn’t true as far as ‘best joint’, in fact far from it. Here Nas is celebrating his return to single life after his epic fail marriage…but that’s another track that we will speak on later…

Nas remains on that relaxing, vacation, ‘Life’s A B!tch’ type flow that ‘You Wouldn’t Understand’, a Buckwild produced track featuring vocalist Victoria Monet…however heads’ eyebrows will raise when Nas says he’s in chill mode listening to (Young) Jeezy, Hov (Jay-Z) and Rosay (Rick Ross). I don’t know about you but when I’m in chill mode, A Tribe Called Quest, Slum Village & J Dilla are the artists that spring to mind here. But then again, I wouldn’t understand that now would I?

Nas & No I.D. take another element out of the Illmatic archives, this time taking it ‘Back When’ it all got started. Nas tells the story on how he fell in love with the hip hop art form in the late 80s when he listened to MC Shan, who ironically enough, was the inspiration behind this track, when 2Pac ‘left him’ in the rap world, and that he hates doing interviews because he feels that he doesn’t get enough credit…that is a very arguable point.

The album’s lead single, ‘The Don’, is the true summer anthem. If Hip Hop is Dead, then Heavy D left this beat in his will and wished for Salaam and Nas to bless the Supercat endorsed track. This is one that will stay in heavy rotation in the hip hop jams since ‘Made You Look’.

Time to zone out now and indulge your mind into some thought-provoking. Nas wants you to ‘Stay’ as he finds himself in catch-22 situations with a hot chick that doesn’t deserve her throne because of her behaviour and thinks bad about his enemies but wants them to stay in his life to further drive his ambitions forward.

Where Nas failed to return the favour to Common for this album, he more than succeeds with Amy Winehouse. As both sip that ‘Cherry Wine’, they both look for that perfect partner, this standout track is more likely to get the single/video treatment simply because of Winehouse’s amazing vocals and popularity. If you don’t find this track instantly infectious, may I suggest that cotton buds are widely available from all good pharmaceuticals and apply them inside your ears and clean thoroughly. While this track would be perfect to close the album, Nas is not done; he still has to address a certain somebody who he thought was his soul mate…

…and we realise that the person that Nas is referring to is Kelis. When Streets Disciple dropped, he broke a lot of women’s hearts around the world over when he announced that he was ‘Getting Married’. But fast forward 8 years and we find that situation has changed and women can now rejoice once again. In the Guy-Goodbye Love assisted ‘Bye Baby’, Nas breaks down the marriage and why he had to walk away but at the same time counteracts guys who talks bad of him marrying her in the first place when they haven’t attempted to commit to their own partner. Maybe Method Man can take back his apology to the now divorced couple after he emotionally expressed his views about the situation…

Fans will rejoice that ‘Nasty’ Nas included 4 tracks in the Deluxe Version of the CD. The original 2011 banger that was later freestyled by Inspectah Deck among others is here. Salaam and Nas then create a cinematic vibe that would be perfect for a James Bond soundtrack, entitled ‘The Black Bond’. Nas tells the story of how he would embody that well-known character.

Almost as if Kelis feels regret for the destruction of their marriage, ‘Roses’ are dropped on her ex-husbands door. Nas starts contemplating his dating options with female fans ticking the appropriate boxes; “Who should I date/Project chick or Cuban actress/A White chick, they might flip talking that Blackness/Should only attract Black sh!t,/I’m an @$$ magnet/If you mad at that/You’ll be mad forever/Never played you/I prayed we would stay together…”

Just like his comrade Common, Nas teamed up with No I.D. and the Cocaine 80s for ‘Where’s The Love’. Nas reaches out to the younger cats that this ain’t no Truman Show but rather, the Human show… “Younger generation, they want to mimic and mock us/Laughing, separating themselves like they not us, like/”Cops’ll look at you like they look at me? That’s preposterous…”

The album’s main producer Salaam Remi has put in arguably his best work here, whereas No I.D. compliments it well with his soulful, jazzy grooves throughout. Unfortunately Nas broke his promise again to real hip hop heads because he stated that he would be working with DJ Premier and RZA for this album, and if those tracks exist, they didn’t make the album and hip hop purists will begin the hunt for those unreleased tracks. So is ‘Life Is Good’ the album of the year? Well to the mainstream eye, that answer is YES. But to RePPiN4U, it has joined the race with Apollo Brown & OC – Trophies, DJ Premier & Bumpy Knuckles – Kollexxxion, J- Dilla –Rebirth Of Detroit and Ras Kass & Doc Hollywood – Spit No Evil. And if 2011 has learnt us anything, the race is not over until it is over – we thought that Elzhi was gonna run away with the title with Elmatic until Common unveiled ‘The Dreamer, The Believer’ right at the end of the year. It’s gonna be a close one like the 100m dash finals at the London Olympic Games. ‘Life is Good’ indeed in the world of hip hop right now.