Peace STC! Wrestle Town! Cage Amateurs UK! BDSIR Network! This is a special one-off blog from your favourite hip hop reppin, jaffa cake eating, Tekken @$$ whoopin, Diva loving, wrestling fan hating Infamous Informer! I never saw the Slammys this year due to University commitments but I caught the results and before I go in, you know I gotta put the IWC on BLAST HERE:
Yes some of the results are ridiculous B.U.T. wait a minute… did you download the WWE App to vote? NO! Did you buy your kids (if you are capable of reproducing) a phone so they could download the app and vote for their favoutite? Chances are you did. Do you phone up and vote for your favourite on X-Factor act? NO! So that leaves me one thing to say to you Internet Wrestling B!TCHES……
SHUT THE F**K UP! GRANT BODY – P!!!
For all my sensible wrestling ninjas and ninjarettes, let’s do this! I will speak on the categories, the winners and who I think should have won and why.
SLAMMY AWARDS 2013!!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!
EXTREME MOMENT OF THE YEAR: Presented by Mick Foley
Nominees: (Winner in bold)
Undertaker Triple Powerbombed through the table by The Shield (Smackdown)
Ryback putting Cena through the Payback stage lights
CM Punk beats down Paul Heyman (Hell In A Cell)
The Wyatt Family destroying my hero Kane (Summerslam)
THE GRANT SAYS: Sorry Punk Midas, it was a beat down but Heyman should have been thrown off that muthaf***a (cell) for me to say yeah – you win! Award should have gone to the Wyatt man dem destroying my hero Kane… kinda funny how the Wyatts did that and the Shield destroyed The Undertaker… Just a thought!
BEARD OF THE YEAR: Presented by Santino Marella
Danielson, Damien Sandow, The Wyatt Man Dem, muthaf***!n Zeb Colter.
THE GRANT SAYS: I think the Wyatts should have run away with this one because their beard game was fierce! But Danielson wanted to be the WWE Champion… and that got Vincent Kennedy involved, and when you get him involved… you have automatically WON…
GET IN THE CHAIR!!! (Shout out to STC’s Dawn Bayley she loves that!)
FAN PARTICIPATION: 2013 Presented by the Primetime Players
Fan-dan-going, YES! YES! YES! Let’s Go Cena!/Cena Sucks! What’s Up!
THE GRANT SAYS: To think it all started when Daniel Bryan cashed in his cheque and he went on like it was the greatest thing he ever did some years back! Or did it start when Danielson was twisting Brie Bella’s back out and she was hollering YES! YES! YES! Making her cum multiple times!!!
TRENDING PON TWITTA AWARD: Presented By The Rhodes Brudda
THE GRANT SAYS: I wouldn’t have minded if any of the hashtags won apart from #WeThePeople… I wished #BigShowKnockHimOut was there though… or #GetInTheChair!
INSULT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Presented by The Miz
AJ Lee puts the Total Divas on BLAST
Zeb Colter running his dirty stinkin’ mouth
Paul Heyman running down CM Punk
Stephanie McMahon running down Big Show
THE GRANT SAYS: YES!!!! My beautiful and brilliant Stephanie! Those slaps to Big Show was straight attitude era Stephanie! I had to do a tribute to her… check it out!
She really is that Femme Fatale with the Killa Lipstick!
DOUBLE-CROSS OF THE YEAR: PRESENTED BY THE SHIELD!
WHOA!!! Ketch The Shield in their big out suit!!! WROOOOOOOY!!!
Mark Henry fake retirement speech – World’s Strongest Slam on Cena – BLAOW! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!
HBShizzle Sweet Chin Music to Daniel Bryan – BLAOW!!!
Paul Heyman baits up CM Punk from getting the briefcase – BLAOW!
Triple TEEF Pedigree Danielson at Summerslam – BLAOW!!!
THE GRANT SAYS: I understand why HBShizzle won, it’s the element of him being the trainer to Danielson and all that… but I really think Mark Henry should have won. He fooled the entire world. He fooled me, you, the entire IWC, even those clever clogs over at International Wrestling Fanbase. He got us all!
Big ups to HBShizzle who called some fans ‘pinheads’ for calling him a sell out! Cuss the fans YES!
BREAKOUT STAR OF THE YEAR AWARD: Presented by John Meningitis
Big E Langston, The Shield, Fandango, The Wyatt Man Dem,
THE GRANT SAYS: Well deserved, but The Shield should have come and Brukk up John Meningitis for fun! It’s injustice that’s he’s even on the telly? Just what does he do exactly backstage Triple TEEF?
LOL MOMENT OF THE YEAR Presented by The New Age Outlaws
Vickie Guerrero FIRED!
Titus O’Neill throwing up all over Smackdown
Santino’s choopid Cobra
The Rock singing ‘Biatch’ to Vickie Guerrero
THE GRANT SAYS: THAT WAS SOME FUNNY SH!T!!!! Yes I was dedding when I heard that!!!! And Vickie is still an ugly BIATCH!
DIVA OF THE YEAR: Presented by Eve Torres
OHHHHHHH!!! GOD DAYUUUUM!!! Eve still makes my d!ck hard! Shout out to STC’s Jamie Gapsta Kelham – the lil’ bastard saw her in the flesh and couldn’t tell me in advance! He wanted to hog all the glory for himself! And he wonders why his favourite wrestler is TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!
Bella Twins, The Funkadactyls, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Eva Marie, AJ Lee
THE GRANT SAYS: OUTRAGEOUS!!! The Bella Twins???? Clearly it was a Total Divas move… but I love Total Divas so I can’t complain…
…or maybe I can! AJ Lee should have won that back to back! She put the Total Divas on blast, and held down the title longer than any diva I can remember for a long while!
SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR: Presented by Shawn Michaels
Nominees: Brock Lesnar, CM Punk, Big Show, Danielson, Randall Orton, John Cena
THE GRANT SAYS: ABSOLUTELY!!! 100%!!!! But watch the twist!!! Danielson confronts his former trainer! OH HBShizzle… let go of the award! You can’t get more A+ than this! Their altercation is teasing a WrestleMania match surely!
MATCH OF THE YEAR: Presented by Bret ‘HitMan’ Hart
Funny how they got the man who rated Triple’s match with Undertaker 4/10 to present this award…
CM Punk Vs The Undertaker (WrestleMania XXIX)
The Rhodes Brudda Vs The Shield (Battleground)
Brock Lesnar Vs Triple TEEF – Steel Cage Match (Extreme Rules)
The Rock Vs John Cena II – WWE Championship (WrestleMania XXIX)
THE GRANT SAYS: They just had to give Cena an award didn’t they! Yes I hear you outraged! But you didn’t vote on the WWE App, so look at the video at the top of the screen and that’s my message to you! But out of this bunch, CM Punk Vs The Undertaker WAS the match that should have won. DO THE KNOWLEDGE – THAT was the match everyone was waiting for, and when it dun the atmosphere was so electric that everyone was exhausted by the time Brock and Triple came on, and reportedly fans were leaving the building by the time The Rock and Cena was on because the world knew what was about to happen, thus making WrestleMania XXIX in most fans eyes one of the worst ever… I didn’t see it that way – I got to shut the CM Punk fans up! But hey, it is what it is. You wanna change? Download the muthaf***!n app BIATCH!
I’m only f**k!n with you! The Slammy Awards are just like pretty much any type of awards show: More often than not your favourite will never win, and you wind up complaining and updating your twitter and Facebook. You should ask yourself: Why do you watch the awards? But I give WWE it’s props this year. They gave you entertainment, jokes, worthy winners (not all…) and an epic ending to boot. I just felt like I just watched the Raw before WrestleMania… well TLC could be the winter version???!!! See you all on the thread SUNDAY!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.